Monday, February 29, 2016

Fourteen Ways to Love



Read:  1 Corinthians 13

 

S.O.A.P.

Scripture – Observation – Application – Prayer

 

S:  And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.  I Corinthians 13:13

 

O:  This love that is spoken of here in this chapter is AGAPE love.  In the Bible there are four Greek words to define love.  Some are used to describe a passionate love, some for the love you share with a friend, but agape love is the love that Jesus and the Father shared.  (John 15:9)

 

What does agape love look like?  I Corinthians 13 defines it for us using 14 terms:

1.       Makrothymeō – Patient Perseverance (to persevere patiently and bravely in enduring misfortunes and troubles, to be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others).

2.     Chrēsteuomai – Kindness (to show one's self mild, to be kind, use kindness).  This word is ONLY used one time in the Bible and it is here when describing agape love.

3.     Ou Zēloō – It is NOT envious (heated or to boil with envy, hatred, anger).  This word is what Joseph’s brothers had for him that caused them to sell him into slavery (Acts 7:9).  This has no place in our relationships.

4.    Ou Perpereuomai – It is NOT boastful (employing rhetorical embellishments in extolling one's self excessively, being a braggart, puffing oneself up).  This word here is used twice in the Bible and both times it is used here.  It says it twice in a row which tells me it is pretty important.  Jesus had all sorts of “bragging rights” (see Philippians 2:6 “Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage …”), but he humbled himself and did not boast in those things; we should be like Jesus.

5.     Ou Aschēmoneō – It is NOT to act unbecomingly.  The only other place this is used is I Corinthians 7:36 describing how a man would act with a virgin.  Thayer’s Greek Lexicon says it means that you do not disgrace someone.

6.     Zēteō Ou Heautou – It seeketh NOT for one’s own benefit (thinking, meditating, reasoning, to enquire into, to seek after, seek for, aim at, strive after, to crave, demand something from someone).  This means we don’t just think about our own needs and wants, we don’t seek after our own desires, we don’t demand our own way.

7.     Ou Paroxynō – It does NOT make or cause others to be angry (to irritate, provoke, arouse to anger, to exasperate).

8.     Logizomai Ou Kakos – It does NOT consider, count or think about (to reckon, count, compute, calculate, count over, making an accounting of) evil (things that are troublesome, injurious, pernicious, destructive, baneful, wrongs or wickedness).  It doesn’t think about all the bad things the other person has done to injure or trouble you.  It doesn’t think about all the ways you could do them wrong.  It doesn’t wish bad things to come to them.  It wishes the other person well; it wants the best things for them regardless of how they have treated you.

9.       Chairō Ou Epi Adikia – It is NOT happy (to rejoice, be glad) with injustices (injustice, of a judge, unrighteousness of heart and life, a deed violating law and justice, act of unrighteousness).  Love doesn’t celebrate hearts and lives that violate God’s or man’s laws.  It does not mean you do not love the person, but we certainly don’t lift up or rejoice or bless unrighteousness.  Jesus called out those who thought they were right, but were really wrong.  If our children do something that violates God’s or man’s laws we would not be happy about that, we wouldn’t celebrate those things; that is not true love.  No, we hopefully would deal with and in a loving (patient, kind) way deal with those violations of the law. 

10.  Sygchairō Alētheia – It rejoices with (to rejoice with, take part in another's joy, to rejoice together, to congratulate) things that are true (things that are moral, truth, reality, God’s truth, telling the truth).  This to me is a picture of having godly relationships.  It also is a picture of what Paul described in Philippians 4:8 of the things we are to think about where he says think about what is true and honest and just and pure.  The use of the word true there is alēthēs which is similar to our word here in I Corinthians 13, but in Philippians it means things that aren’t concealed.  We want to have godly relationships that we can celebrate things that are true or truth.

11.     Stegō – It bears up under (to protect or keep by covering, to preserve).

12.  Pisteuō – It believes (to think to be true, to be persuaded of, to credit, place confidence in, to entrust a thing to one).  This kind of love has confidence in those we love.  We entrust ourselves to them.  Of course who is the only one who will never let us down?  God and Jesus.  While we entrust ourselves to others here, we do so by first entrusting ourselves and the other person to God.  When the other person lets us down (because they are human) we need to believe the best of them still and have confidence that it will be okay in the end because we trust in and believe in God and His goodness.  Certainly I’m not talking about extreme situations where the other person is mistreating us in ungodly ways or violating laws (see #9), but when they make a mistake (we all do) let us first believe the best of their overall character.  Give them the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe they were just having a bad day.  Believe the best first!

13.  Elpizō – It hopes (to wait for salvation with joy and full confidence, to hopefully to trust in).  This kind of love understands that we are all sinners saved by grace.  Part of our salvation is our sanctification which is a process.  It takes time!  So we hopefully trust for the future.  When we see our kids are not following the ways of the LORD that we attempted in our own human feebleness to teach them, then we hope in God that one day they will come around.  We don’t give up on each other.  We hope for the best possible future.  Agape love doesn’t give up hope.

14.  Hypomenō – It endures (to remain, not recede or flee, to persevere: under misfortunes and trials to hold fast to one's faith in Christ, to endure, bear bravely and calmly: ill treatments).  Early in my marriage when we would get in a fight I would want to leave.  I think a lot of it was the “fight or flight” thing in me.  I hate conflict so fighting is not really my first choice so I’ll just leave.  People are tempted at times to use the “D” word.  We want to protect ourselves from hurt.  I recently watched a short video where a guy was describing lobsters and how they grow.  Basically when their shell gets too tight they go under a rock and shed their shell and grow a new one.  The point was that adversity and stress can cause us to grow “new shells” so to speak.  Marriage and other relationships are NOT easy.  They can be messy, but they can also “grow us up”.  God can use these relationships to make us more like Him; they can be (and are) part of our sanctification process!  I remember as a young wife 20+ years ago when we would fight I’d storm off, slam a door and go into a room by myself and be mad.  As time wore on I dealt with those things and “grew up”.  I thought after about 10-12 years I’ve come a long way.  I really didn’t think I had a problem with anger anymore.  Then I had kids!  (SMH)  All these new feelings of impatience and stress and being overwhelmed and I started dealing with wanting to FLEE and leave and run away again (please don’t tell me I’m the only one).  Parenting is not for the faint of heart!  With each kid I “grew up” a little more.  God used these relationships in my life (and still is) to sanctify and purify and to help me “grow a bigger shell”.  The point is this:  If I hadn’t endured through the past 24 years (not that marriage is something to be “endured”), but if I had run away as I threatened so often in those early years I would not be who I am today.  God has helped me to endure and has used that endurance.  As Paul says, let us run the race with patient endurance!

 

Seven is a complete number so fourteen must be a double portion!  Here are fourteen ways we can choose to love today!  These are how God loves us!!!!!!!  These are ways we need to love others so we can point them to Him!
 
 

 

 
Most of these are verbs – they are actions!  Love is a verb.  It is what we do; it how we respond to each other.  It is a choice.  How do you chose to love today?  (And no excuses, I don't want to hear that it is 'all Greek to me' LOL.)  J

 

This kind of Love will NEVER, EVER fail (ekpiptō - to fall out, to perish, fall from a position, to be without effect).  Nothing can separate us from this love of Christ – in another words we can never fall from a position of being loved by God in this way.  This kind of love will never be without some kind of effect!

 

A:  The application here is easy, but hard.  Examine your heart (as I have mine) before the LORD.  Are you loving these fourteen ways?  As I meditated and studied and considered these ways to agape love I realized that I am not fully loving the way God intends for me to love.  My prayer is that God would fill me up with this kind of love for others.
 
 
 

 
P:  Our Father in Heaven, Holy is Your Name!  God You are an AMAZING GOD!  Your LOVE, Your agape love is so AMAZING!  Father, forgive me and change ME!  Mold me and make me to have the fullness of this kind of love in all of my relationships, but especially in my marriage and with my children.  God I believe that You give us these relationships to sanctify us – to change and to make us more into Your likeness.  Thank you for my family.  Help me to love like You love.  It is in and through Jesus Christ, for whom all things were made, I pray, Amen & Amen.


** This post is dedicated to my husband Lance who has endured with me for 24 years today!  Happy Anniversary!  I pray that the next 24 I will love you more and more with God's Agape Love!   Thank you for putting up with all of my many imperfections and for growing up with me.**

 
 
 
 

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