When we remember the grace we have been shown it easy to be a positive encouraging person to others ...
There are some helpful tips we can keep in mind when we are being encouragers:
1) Be specific. Generic encouragement like "Great job" can be for anyone and can serve to uplift and encourage someone, but being specific like, "I like that bread you made, you really know how to make it so flavorful. I've made lots of bread before, but I can never get mines to taste as good as yours." (my husband makes wonderful sourdough wheat bread!) By being specific we give those we are complimenting a wonderful gift tied up in a pretty bow, complete with a card that says "This compliment is just for you and only you." It is more sincere when we use specific details to describe the things we appreciate about them.
2) Be prepared. A public speaker prepares ahead and can deliver the message to their audience better, so why shouldn't we prepare ahead. If you are getting ready to take your child to a recital or a performance think ahead about some things you can compliment on. Or how about just preparing some things you appreciate about them at the beginning of your day and find an appropriate time to share them with him/her during the course of the day.
Starting your day by thinking of things you are appreciative
for in those you know you will come in contact with throughout
the day will give your day a positive lift and you will be able
to be the encourager and the positive person you desire to be.
3. Be creative. Find creative ways to leave messages of encouragement, a note, a Post-It note, a card, on a pillow, in a lunch box, in a shoe, in a favorite book they are reading or in a Bible, on a mirror or door, in their car, through the e-mail or even snail mail or even in a fancy box wrapped in fancy paper. One lady gave me a little ring box I think it was years ago with an encouraging verse of Scripture about the love of God for me. She wrote it and rolled it up like a small scroll and tied a tiny bow around it. I still have that small piece of paper even though I haven't seen or heard from that woman in years. Her encouragement has become a part of my past and future. How about writing your appreciation in a poem or find a song to encourage them. A wonderful friend of mine has made me two CD's of music that she thought I would like. It's so fun to put those CD's on and think of her and give a lift to my day. Use the letters of the person's name to prompt you to think about some wonderful encouraging traits you can encourage that person with. Here are a couple I did for my family:
A very tender heart & artistic (creative)
Loving, caring spirit
Enthusiastic
X-uberant and full of energy!
Imaginative & Intelligent
So very helpful & Sensitive & Social
Adventurous (climber!) & Analytical
Independent, takes initiative and is inspiring (and aspiring) (into everything!)
Nothing holds her back (Persistent, Determined)
Strong
Logical (loves buttons, great motor skills), learns before you can teach her
Energetic with a
Youthful delight
Loyal and loving
Animal lover
Nice and
Considerate & Compassionate
Enduring & Eloquent (very good with words especially in dealing with people's technical needs and customer relations, being frank)
(and also very punctual, thrifty in his weekly shopping trips, very good with our daughters and adored by them and a wonderful cook in the kitchen!)
4. Be resourceful.
Use bits of Scripture to encourage and build character in your loved ones. Use the books, movies or television shows that you read or watch together to point out how much you appreciate their respect, obedience, love, etc.
Other helpful resources:
Need help finding positive characteristics to encourage others by? Try a couple of these sites:
http://www.newhope.bc.ca/02-02-09.htm (Good one with definitions)
http://www.learningsuccess.com/list_of_52_character_traits.htm
http://www.characterfirst.com/aboutus/qualities/
http://www.characterkidz.com/positivity/home.php?cat=248&js=n
"The deepest craving of human nature is the need to feel appreciated."
~ William James
Are you appreciating those around you? Do the people you come in contact with on a regular basis know that you appreciate them and why you appreciate them? Do you encourage the good things you see or only berate and criticize those you come in contact with in order to "help them grow" or "reach their potential". A plant that only has the hot burning sun will never fully grow to it's full potential. It needs water and gentle sunlight. Only if you want a prickly cactus should you give it full sun and little water. To grow delicate, beautiful flowers it takes time, attending, water and yes some sun ... Be an encouraging and positive person and you will not only grow beautiful "flowers" around you, you will flourish too!
The above encouragement was what I learned from my continued reading of The Power of a Positive Mom: Revised Edition by Karol Ladd.
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