We are going to jump right in today as we continue to talk about being a positive encourager. As promised yesterday, there are four steps we can take to help us be encouragers:
Reuben, thou [art] my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of
my strength, the excellency of dignity,
and the excellency of power: Genesis 49:3
1) See the potential in the person you are trying to encourage. Instead of looking at the worst attributes in that person, which seemingly glare in our face, we can choose instead to look at the unique gifts and abilities they have to offer.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. II Corinthians 12:9
In "Created to be his Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl she makes the statement that our husbands are created in the image of God. That each man has a unique likeness to his Creator. No man is of course completely the whole image of God, but a piece of that image. She divides men into three categories and if you were to take all three categories you would get a fuller, but still I think, incomplete picture of the fullness of God who is beyond any definition, incomprehensible!
The point I am attempting to make here and apply to this principle is that we can look at ANYONE (even those people we have the worst time trying to connect with or appreciate [perhaps our inlaws]) and see a small piece of the image of God, by finding that you find their potential and can draw on that and perhaps lead them to or help them find God themselves through your positive encouragement.
First write down the potential that you see in the following four areas:
a) mental
b) physical
c) spiritual
d) social
And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom (mental) and stature (physical), and in favor with God (spiritual) and men (social). Luke 2:52
Look for the qualities that you see God developing in their lives. Pray over those things and write them down and ask God for more understanding and how to further develop and encourage those things and how He wants to use them.
One application of this principle that we have been looking at is how to do this with our children. Share with them the possibilities you see for their lives (give them a hope and a future) and then share with them the vision of their God-given potential. BE CAREFUL though not to superimpose your personal wishes for them or make them feel trapped by some huge expectation. Encourage them for instance in their love for science and how wonderful a gift that is to explore God's world, but don't force them to be brain surgeons. Encourage their gift for the piano or some other musical talent, but don't assume it means they will play at Carnegie Hall. Our job is to encourage, not to plan the details!
2) Offer opportunities for growth. As particular interests or aptitudes emerge you can look for ways to encourage that skill or hobby further. My husband about 1-1/2 years ago decided through watching a television series that he would like to pursue a hobby in "Rockhounding" which is going out and looking for and digging for rocks. My husband is the type of man who loves the indoors and the comforts of such so for him to find this appealing I knew he was serious. He began to purchase a few supplies and even construct sifting boxes. He was having a good time. He found a place for us to stay on a "Rockhounding Ranch" and we loaded the car and had our first "family vacation". I tried to encourage this by adding to his book collection and by supporting him and joining the local "Rock club" with him. If this is what he wanted to do, why not come along for the ride? It may not be my first interest or hobby, but it can become that as I learn to make him my first interest and hobby :) Both my girls are enjoying it too. Now my four year old picks up rocks whereever we go. Who knows where this all will lead, but one thing is for certain, we are out in God's creation and what better place is that to draw my family to a saving knowledge of Him?
The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork. Psalms 19:1
3) Set realistic goals. We all need direction, purpose and preparation ~ a target to shoot for.
"... let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
looking unto Jesus ..." Hebrews 12:1c - 2a
Having Jesus as our first and foremost goal and encouraging others to do this keeps us on track! Focus on a) serving Him and b) becoming more like Him!
Take a sheet of paper and write down your goals on a yearly or semi-yearly basis ~ make Jesus the first goal on your paper and in your life. Kids as early as about 8 years old can do this to. What a wonderful way to teach our young ones how to make goals and keep their eyes fixed on Jesus. Use the four growth areas mentioned above (mental, physical, spiritual and social) to create realistic and obtainable goals.
When helping young children do this make sure these are not YOUR goals for them, but an expression of goals they would like to achieve.
Make sure goals have something to measure them by. To get into better shape is a good idea, but a goal will have something you can measure it by for instance how many miles you want to walk a day or a week or how much weight you want to lose. You may consider setting a minimum AND a maximum goal. I would like to walk a minimum of 1 mile per day, but I know that for maximum health it is encouraged that I walk atleast 10,000 steps a day which equates to about 5 miles. I might set intermediate goals to acheive this by adding weekly to the number of steps I take on a daily basis until I am walking at the maximum goal of 10,000 steps.
A mental goal might be to increase the amount of books you read or if you are a homeschooling mom your goal mentally might be to work on increasing your knowledge in a certain subject so you can teach that to your child. Your goal may need to include a strategy to do this like setting aside 30 minutes a day to reach this goal.
As you develop in your goal setting and in helping your child or those you mentor or support to set goals to reach their potential you may want to develop longer term goals such as a "five-year plan".
Another area we can help encourage is in the spiritual aspect with a closer walk with Christ by learning and teaching others the disciplines of prayer, Bible Study and service.
Be flexible! Life changes and sometimes God allows things in our lives that put us going in a new direction. Be open to God's working and the hope and future He has in mind. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus.
For it is God which worketh in you both to will and
to do of [his] good pleasure. Philippians 2:13
4) Finally, be supportive of their endeavors. Be a cheerleader!
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13
How important it is to have encouragers in our lives! People who jump in and "run the race with us"! I have had a few like this in my life ... my "chaver sheli" and others who were there with me, praying with me, fasting with me and giving me the strength of the Almighty God in my wings. Without people like this in my life I would not be where I am today.
I am thankful for the Barnabases in my life. They have come in all shapes and sizes and were there by God's design when I needed them.
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset [us], and let us run with patience the race that is set before us ... Hebrews 12:1
Paul tells us that we have a "cloud of witnesses" cheering us on from the sidelines of Heaven as well so we can reach the ultimate finish line.
As wives and moms and friends and members of our church and community we have many opportunities to encourage and run the race with those God has put in our path. For those closest to us, like our children, we can help them by finding classes or groups or opportunities for them to develop their interests or skills.
I have a good friend right now who listened to her child mention a "marketing idea" and she and her husband are now helping their two children develop that idea to present to a famous corporation. What a tremendous opportunity for these children to learn and grow their idea. It may or may not get accepted, but they have two loving, devoted parents encouraging them all the way. What they learn at their young ages through doing this project will be something they will carry with them for a lifetime! I was so excited for her and her children when she told me this and I can't wait to hear the outcome! You go girl :)
Whatever the ultimate outcome let us always be a safe haven of love whether they perform perfectly or completely mess up. Our support should be as the love of Jesus, completely unconditional! This is not a lowering of our expectations, but by our response we can either destroy their confidence or be a catalyst to propel them toward the finish line, toward Christ Himself.
" ... forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus ..." Philippians 3:13b-14
We can say to those we are encouraging, "I know you are not there yet, but you will be!" Let us forget what is behind us, especially those areas we have seemingly failed in, and press on for all God intends for you to be in Him.
Bless and be blessed,
Michelle
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