Receive this as a warning.
This forty day journey cannot be taken lightly.
It is a challenging and often difficult process, but an incrediblyfulfilling one. To take this dare requires a resolute mind and a steadfast determination.
It is not meant to be sampled or brieflytested, and those who quit early willforfeit the greatest benefits. If youwill commit to a day at a time for fortydays, the results could change your life and your marriage.
Consider it a dare, from others who have done it before you.
THE SCRIPTURES SAY that God designed and created marriage as a good thing. It is a beautiful, priceless gift. He uses marriage to help us eliminate loneliness, multiply our effectiveness, establish families, raise children, enjoy life, and bless us with relational intimacy. But beyond this, marriage also shows us our need to grow and deal with our own issues and self-centeredness through the help of a lifelong partner. If we are teachable, we will learn to do the one thing that is most important in marriage—to love. This powerful union provides the path for you to learn how to love another imperfect person unconditionally. It is wonderful. It is difficult. It is life changing.
This book is about love. It’s about learning and daring to live a life filled with loving relationships. And this journey begins with the person who is closest to you: your spouse. May God bless you as you begin this adventure.
But be sure of this: it will take courage. If you accept this dare, you must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to lead it. The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is. The Bible says that “the heart is more deceitful than all else” (Jeremiah 17:9), and it will always pursue that which feels right at the moment.
We dare you to think differently—choosing instead to lead your heart toward that which is best in the long run. This is a key to lasting, fulfilling relationships.
The Love Dare journey is not a process of trying to change your spouse to be the person you want them to be. You’ve no doubt already discovered that efforts to change your husband or wife have ended in failure and frustration. Rather, this is a journey of exploring and demonstrating genuine love, even when your desire is dry and your motives are low. The truth is, love is a decision and not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial, and transformational. And when love is truly demonstrated as it was intended, your relationship is more likely to change for the better.
Each day of this journey will contain three very important elements:
First, a unique aspect of love will be discussed. Read each of these carefully and be open to a new understanding of what it means to genuinely love someone.
Second, you will be given a specific dare to do for your spouse. Some will be easy and some very challenging. But take each dare seriously, and be creative and courageous enough to attempt it. Don’t be discouraged if outside situations prevent you from accomplishing a specific dare. Just pick back up as soon as you can and proceed with the journey.
Last, you will be given journal space to log what you are learning and doing and how your spouse is responding. It is important that you take advantage of this space to capture what is happening to both you and your mate along the way. These notes will record your progress and should become priceless to you in the future.
Remember, you have the responsibility to protect and guide your heart. Don’t give up and don’t get discouraged. Resolve to lead your heart and to make it through to the end. Learning to truly love is one of the most important things you will ever do.
Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love
1 Corinthians 13:13
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:1–3
Day 1: Love is patient (tolerance of delay or incompetence; bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint; steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity)
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. —Ephesians 4:2 NIV
TODAY’S DARE
The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.
Day 2: Love is kind. Today we continue to build on I Corinthians 13 ~ Love is patient, love is kind ... put these two into practice today.
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. —Ephesians 4:32
TODAY’S DARE
In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse (or whomever you are daring to love) again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
Day 3: Love is not selfish.
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.—Romans 12:10
TODAY’S DARE
Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse (or whomever you are challenged to love) something that says, “I was thinking of you today.”
Day 4: Love is thoughtful ... "Is there anything I can do for you?"
How precious also are Your thoughts to me. . . .How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. —Psalm 139:17–18
TODAY’S DARE
Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.
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