Many people look forward to a New Year. They think with that will come a fresh start - newness of life. We are a people who create resolutions and start every new year with a fresh slate - or so we think. But this year didn't start off new and fresh for me.
At the end of 2014 a man we had been praying for took a turn for the worse in his seven year battle with cancer. I only got the privilege to know this man and his family for a short time - about one year. In the later part of 2014 this family was blessed with their third baby boy - a miracle child and with it came a hope of complete healing, but all that changed quickly towards the end of the year, or at least that is my understanding.
While celebrating the holidays with my family I got word that he had taken a turn for the worse and was not expected to live long. I began praying more fervently. I fasted. I asked everyone I knew to pray. I asked my children to pray.
I have to say this is the third time I have done this for a family I knew. About four years ago my children and I attended a funeral to say goodbye to a godly man and to offer support to his widow. We prayed for his healing, but alas the answer was no.
Two years ago I got a call that another man I had known was involved in a sudden accident and was not expected to live. I prayed and again the answer was no. I helped in planning his funeral and doing what I could to support his widow.
And now for the third time in less than five years I have watched another godly man leave a grieving widow. It was almost too much to bear. And I have been struggling this month with a range of emotions. Why these three young men all seemingly in their prime?
Certainly I am no judge of a man's heart, but from all outward appearances these were godly - righteous men. Men who loved their families well and took care for their families even in the midst of things like cancer. At least two of these men waited virtuously for their brides and had only a few years to enjoy the fruits of waiting for their wives. These three men served God in active ministry.
What am I to learn from all this, from having the pleasure to know them? I can't say I have answers, but I can say that these thoughts - even bordering on unbelief have caused me to feel very low at times. I have stayed in the Word, continuing to serve, but struggling nonetheless.
Lately, by the GRACE and perfect timing of God I have been attending a seminar where I have been blessed to hear God's Truth spoken. The purpose of the seminars have been to teach on the book of Revelation, but really the message that I have heard really has nothing to do, or perhaps everything to do, with this end time book.
You see in all life there is death - that's life! Right? But it's what we do with the time in between that matters. Ezekiel 18 has a lot to say about the "in between time". Ezekiel 18:9 says if we walk in God's statutes and keep his judgments faithfully then we will be declared just - a tsadik - a righteous one and that person SHALL SURELY LIVE - to be restored to life and health.
Amos 5:4 says it this way - seek me and live. "Seek" here means to study, to pray and ultimately TO WORSHIP. I have been studying, but have I been worshipping lately?
Flipping back to Ezekiel it goes on to talk about our role as fathers (and mothers). Verses 10-18 talks about parents who do not do right and what the consequence is for their children. The children still have a choice - follow God or follow your parents. IF you follow God - even if your parents don't - YOU WILL SURELY LIVE! Even though the parents will die in their iniquity. I am thankful for these men that they were good examples to their (and other's) children - atleast the two who had children of their own.
God is a just God wanting NONE to perish (2 Peter 3:9) - especially in their sin! He beckons us to TURN AND LIVE. Verse 21 says BUT if you turn from sin TO do what is lawful and right (teshuva) then YOU SHALL SURELY LIVE and none of your transgressions will be remembered (vs. 22).
Then a sobering verse comes next (vs. 24) BUT if you are righteous and choose to TURN AWAY then all your righteousness will NOT be remembered because you were unfaithful and chose instead a life of habitual sin. As long as we have life - we have a choice! He goes on to say in verse 26 that when you commit iniquity and DIE IN IT or in the state of habitual iniquity you will die. The message? If you are still alive and reading this - you can still turn back to God (if you have turned away).
Verse 30 beckons you and I to REPENT AND TURN - shoob, shoob (teshuva, teshuva) - twice He says it implying the fervent nature of his message. Why? So that your iniquity will not be your ruin - or your means of stumbling. I can relate. Having prayed and not getting the answer I wanted (for this man to be healed - to live - to continue on earth to be a father to his children) I became like a disgruntled child. I don't want this to become my ruin, a stumbling block for me, my children or others. Can I grieve when loved ones are lost? YES, of course. Jesus wept. But it should not cause you are I to stop worshipping Him, to loose our passion to live and live well while we still have breath.
Verse 31 goes on to say - CAST AWAY all your transgressions - toss it far from you, hurl it away, cast it off, be done with it. This past month I haven't been able to verbalize these thoughts and feelings well and instead I have been returning to gratifying my flesh in an effort to either find some 'happiness' or 'joy' or simply to stuff things down further. God doesn't want me to do this. He wants me to cast off those things. What will be the result?
A new heart and a new spirit. In Hebrew this means this - you get a fresh mind - a new way of thinking (God's way of thinking), you get new inclinations, new appetites, new emotions, feelings, passions and desires. That's what God wants to do for you and me. He wants to give us a fresh new spirit as well - new breath, new courage, a new and better temperament, new impulses and a renewed energy.
OH HOW I NEED THIS! I need a fresh wind to blow over me - God's Ruach - His Holy Spirit to come and make all things new in my mind and spirit. I need a renewed sense of energy - I have felt very low on energy lately. People who see me on a regular basis keep telling me I look tired (thanks friends!) I need new courage and new feelings and a renewed desire to follow God in every aspect of my life. He needs to change my appetites and desires. In recent years I have been trying to submit the area of my health to him - to eat and exercise for His glory, but so far this year I haven't had any energy or desire to make good choices in my health.
Ezekiel ends this chapter and in verse 32 God says that 'He has no pleasure in the death of one who dies'. He too grieves with us in the passing of our loved ones. But you know what grieves him most? When we fail to choose his free gift of eternal life - when we chose to die a second death. I say with Ezekiel: "Therefore [friends] turn and live!" Don't forget His wisdom (Proverbs 4:5) Fight the good fight (1 Timothy 6:12) while you still have life and keep on keeping on ... in His ways ... and YOU SHALL SURELY LIVE!
Blessings Abundant,
Michelle
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